Hong

笔记摘自
2023年3月22日
To the Readers of the English Edition
Tteokbokki
2023年3月21日
To the Readers of the English Edition
intimidating
2023年3月22日
To the Readers of the English Edition
Finally, I wish to leave you with some words that I find myself returning to whenever I feel myself growing weak
2023年3月22日
To the Readers of the English Edition
overseas reader
2023年3月22日 Prologue
If you want to be happy, you mustn’t fear the following truths but confront them head-on: one, that we are always unhappy, and that our sadness, suffering and fear have good reasons for existing. Two, that there is no real way to separate these feelings completely from ourselves.’
2023年3月22日 Prologue
Une Parfaite Journée Parfaite by Martin Page
2023年3月22日 Prologue
Even in my most unbearably depressed moments I could be laughing at a friend’s joke but still feel an emptiness in my heart, and then feel an emptiness in my stomach, which would make me go out to eat some tteokbokki – what was wrong with me? I wasn’t deathly depressed, but I wasn’t happy either, floating instead in some feeling between the two. I suffered more because I had no idea that these contradictory feelings could and did coexist in many people.
2023年3月22日 Prologue
epigraph
引言 2023年3月22日
Prologue therapy
2023年3月22日 Prologue
dysthymia
dysthymia disorders 抑郁症
2023年3月22日 Prologue
constant
2023年3月22日 Prologue
pathetic
2023年3月22日 Prologue
a venting of my dark emotions
发泄我的黑暗情绪 2023年3月22日
Prologue
I explore specific situations in my life, searching for the fundamental causes of my feelings so I can move in a healthier direction.
2023年3月22日 Prologue
rotting
腐烂 2023年3月22日
Prologue
vague
模糊 2023年3月22日
Prologue
devastated
被摧毁了 2023年3月22日
Prologue
baffling
令人困惑的 2023年3月22日
Prologue faith
1.信念2. 信仰3、信任 2023年3月22日
Prologue
I can still burst into laughter over something very small
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
Perhaps it was a given that I would end up depressed as an adult. But even when I changed all the parts of my life that I had wanted to change – my weight, education, partner, friends – I was still depressed. I didn’t always feel that way, but I would go in and out of a funk that was as inevitable as bad weather. I might go to bed happy and wake up sad and sullen
Sullen 郁郁寡欢的 2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed introverted
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
compromised my future
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
consultation room.
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
My paranoia towards others grew worse,
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
spiked
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
Have you ever tried distancing yourself from that relationship? Me: Well, after I became an adult and started working part-time, I made a decision to become financially independent from her, at least. I did it little by little.
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
Psychiatrist: Does it ever not ‘become official’? Me: It almost always becomes official. When I go out with someone, it tends to be for the long term, and I end up depending heavily on them. My partners do take good care of me. But even when they understand me and make room for me, I feel frustrated. I don’t want to be so dependent. I want to be self-sufficient and be fine when I’m alone, but I keep thinking that would be impossible.
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
Psychiatrist: What about your friendships? Me: I was very serious about friendships when I was little, like most children. But after being bullied in elementary school and middle school, I think by the time I reached high school I’d developed a fear of straying from the herd, and was nervous about friendships in general. That fear was reflected in my romantic relationships, and I decided not to expect too much from friends or friendships anymore
stray from 偏离
Her eyes strayed involuntarily. 她的目光不由自主地移开了。 stray dogs 走失的狗
My mind kept straying back to our last talk together. 我老走神，一再回想起我們上次在一起交談的情景。 We seem to be straying from the main theme of the debate. 我們似乎是偏離了辯論的主題。
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
Do you find your work satisfying? Me: Yes. I work in marketing for a publisher, running their social media accounts. I create content and monitor exposure, things like that. The work is fun and I’m a good fit for it.
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
Psychiatrist: It’s only the beginning. You can start with something small. Me: Well, I also post fake things about my life on social media. It’s not that I pretend to be happy, but I post things from books or landscapes or writing, showing off how great my taste is. I’m trying to say, Look at what a deep, cool person I am. And I judge other people. But who am I to judge them? I’m so odd, even to myself. Psychiatrist: It almost sounds like you want to become a perfect robot. Someone with absolute standards.
2023年4月17日
1 Slightly Depressed
My mother would always bemoan how poor we were. We lived in a one-bedroom apartment that was too small for five people, and there was another apartment complex in our neighbourhood with the same name as ours that had bigger units. One time, a friend’s mother asked me which complex we lived in, the smaller one or the bigger, and that made me ashamed of where we lived and nervous about revealing it to other people.
揭露真相 2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed upbringing
to have had a sheltered upbringing 受到呵護的養育
He was a Catholic by upbringing. 他因受家庭薰陶，從小就是個天主教徒。
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
Oh, loads. It’s such a cliché to put into words, but my father beat my mother.
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
euphemism
委婉语 2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed marital disputes
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
smashing up the apartment
1 smash hit) a new film, song etc which is very successful 大卖
2 ( hit very hard) He gave me a smash on my head. 他猛击我的 头部。
He smashed the ball into the goal. 他一記勁射，球進了。
3 destroy / defeat
smash the state 推翻政府
Police say they have smashed a major drugs ring. 警方說他們摧毀了一個大販毒集團。 She has smashed the world record (= broken it by a large amount). 她大破世界紀錄
4 ( act of breaking ) The cup hit the floor with a smash. 杯子掉到地上嘩啦一聲摔碎了。 2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
Desperate? Sad? I felt like my family kept secrets I couldn’t tell anyone, secrets that kept growing bigger. I thought I had to hide it all
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
Everything that happened at home was detrimental to my self-esteem
有害的 2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
she would mock and humiliate me
嘲笑和羞辱 2023年4月19日
1 Slightly Depressed
bribes
贿赂 2023年4月19日
1 Slightly Depressed
she could go on sleepovers, but I wasn’t allowed
2023年4月19日
1 Slightly Depressed
abusive
粗鲁的 2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
Loads of things like that.
很多类似的事情。 2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
My sister’s only friends were her boyfriend and me, because we were the only ones who would cater to her every whim
迎合她的冲动 2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
And how are your romantic relationships? Do your partners approach you first or are you more proactive
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
If I like someone I just know they’ll think I’m fair game and treat me horribly, which is why I don’t even like to show them I like them
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
flirted with anyone
调情 2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
works out
成功 2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
official
正式的 2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
When you get good results, your worth is realised and you relax, but that satisfaction doesn’t last long – that’s the problem. It’s like you’re running inside a hamster wheel. You try to get out of your depression through your efforts but fail, and this continuing cycle of trying and failing feeds back into the original depression.
2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
candid
率直的 2023年3月22日
1 Slightly Depressed
bereft
完全丧失的 2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed inconveniencing
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
flipped
翻转 2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
A person who is deliberately looking for ways to torture oneself, maybe. Most people are timid but the self-imposed pressure not to be timid makes you criticise yourself, even though you did speak out one out of ten times.
一个故意想办法折磨自己的人，也许。大多数人都很胆小，但不胆怯的自我压力让你批评自己，尽管你确实说了十次中的一次。
a self-imposedtask, duty, etc. is one that you force yourself to do rather than one that sb else forces you to do 自己強加的;自願 負擔的;自己規定的
英汉
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
Psychiatrist: Would that really make you happy? Because even if you did manage to speak out ten out of ten times, I don’t think you’d suddenly think, Look at me, I’m cured! For one thing, the reaction you get isn’t going to be the same from every person. And even when you can accept that a stranger is in the wrong and you should move on, you’re still deliberately making yourself responsible for correcting their behaviour. Sometimes the best thing to do with people who would never listen to you in the first place is to avoid them altogether. To right every wrong you come across in the world would be an impossible endeavour for any one person. You’re just one person, and you’re putting too much of the weight of the world on yourself
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
You can put them on a pedestal and end up being disappointed by them. Instead of being disappointed, try thinking this way: They’re living and breathing human beings too. This will make you more generous towards yourself.
to put/place sb on a ˈpedestal
to admire sb so much that you do not see their faults 把某人奉為完人;盲目崇拜某人
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
intimidatingly
吓人的胆怯的 2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed pathetic
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
I tried an acid perm
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
complimented
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
And that other thing you asked, about my friends saying my best trait is my ability to empathise with others
你问的另一件事，关于我的朋友说我最好的特质是我与他人感同身受的能力? 2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
I’d like you not to give too much credit to what people say about you. The moment you set out to be more empathic is the moment it becomes a chore. That would result in your empathy decreasing, if anything. It’s good not to fake interest in things you’re not interested in.
set out to 打算着手
becomes a chore 成为苦差事
if anything 如果有 最好不要假装对你不感兴趣的事物感兴趣。
2023年4月17日
1 Slightly Depressed
you seem prone to cognitive distortion
你容易受到意识的
容易出现认知扭曲
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
Your results indicate you’re more anxious and obsessive than depressed, and your anxieties are especially high concerning social relationships.
obsession: an extreme unhealthy interest in something or worry about something, which stops you from thinking about anything else
痴迷
妄想
着魔
念念不忘
become an obsession
· For Rosie, losing weight had become an obsession.
obsession with
an unhealthy obsession with being thin
The current obsession with exam results is actually harming children’s education. The game pachinko became a national obsession.
He has an enthusiasm for art, to the point of obsession in my opinion.
She looked after him with a devotion bordering on obsession.
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
You experience your state of feeling in a highly subjective, extremely sensitive and often depressive way. You think of your condition as highly unusual.
experience 感到
你认为你的状态是在一种非常主观，极其敏感 经常处于抑郁状态
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
hard to function socially
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
I’m also obsessive about my looks. There was a time I would never leave the house without make-up. Or thought that no one would look at me if I gained weight. Psychiatrist: It’s not your looks themselves that generate your obsessiveness. It’s because you have this idealised version of yourself in your head that you’re so obsessed with your looks. You’ve made that idealised version very specific and unattainable
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
Have you looked up dysthymia, or persistent depressive disorder? What are your thoughts
心境恶劣 2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed perceiving
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
dual
The piece of furniture serves a dual purpose as a cupboard and as a table. 這件傢具有兩個用途，既作⻝櫥也作飯桌。
dual function 双重职能
dual role 双重⻆色
dual purpose 双重目的;双用途的 dual nature 二重性，双重性
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
But that idealised version of yourself is, in the end, only an ideal. It’s not who you actually are. You keep failing to meet that ideal in the real world, and then you punish yourself. If you have a strict superego, the act of being punished eventually becomes gratifying
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
You have this superego that exerts control over you, a superego built not only from your own experiences but cobbled together from all sorts of things that you admire, creating an idealised version of yourself.
superegos and ids超我和本我
cobble 粗制滥造，胡乱平凑，勉强获得 鹅卵石
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
lashes
ˌlash ˈout (at sb/sth)
1 to suddenly try to hit sb (突然)狠打，痛打
◆ She suddenly lashed out at the boy. 她突然狠狠地打那個男孩。
2 to criticize sb in an angry way 怒斥;嚴厲斥責
◆ In a bitter article he lashed out at his critics. 他寫了一篇尖刻的文章，猛烈駁斥批評他的人。 ˌlash ˈout on sth
( BrE) ( informal) to spend a lot of money on sth 在…上大量花費
1 [intransitive , transitive ] to hit sb/sth with great force 猛擊;狠打 SYN pound + adv./prep. ◆ The rain lashed at the windows. 雨點猛烈地打在窗戶上。
lashsth
◆ Huge waves lashed the shore. 巨浪拍打着海岸。
☞synonyms at beat
2 [transitive ] lashsb/sth to hit a person or an animal with a whip,rope, stick, etc. 鞭打;抽打
SYN beat
3 [transitive ] lashsb/sth to criticize sb/sth in a very angry way 怒斥
SYN attack
4 [transitive ] lashsth + adv./prep. to fasten sth tightly to sth else with ropes 捆綁;捆紮
◆ Several logs had been lashed together to make a raft. 幾根原木捆紮在一起做成了木筏。
◆ During the storm everything on deck had to be lashed down. 暴風雨中甲板上所有的東⻄都必須繫牢。
5 [intransitive , transitive ] lash(sth) to move or to move sth quickly and violently from side to side (使)迅猛擺動，甩動 ◆ The crocodile’s tail was lashing furiously from side to side. 鱷魚的尾巴在急速地左右甩動。
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
with others in a society, but we need our own space, too. It’s natural for these contradictory feelings to coexist.
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
We need to live
2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed
arrogant
傲慢的 2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed pitiful and pathetic
pity可怜 2023年3月23日
1 Slightly Depressed obligation
2023年3月23日
The Hedgehog’s Dilemma
Is my binge eating also relevant here?
我的暴饮暴⻝也与这里有关吗 2023年3月23日
The Hedgehog’s Dilemma
It is. Because when your life satisfaction falls, it’s natural to retreat into primitive measures. And eating and sleeping happen to be our most instinctive base measures. But the satisfaction from eating doesn’t last very long. Exercise or outside projects can help here. Setting some type of long-term goal, in other words.
a primitive instinct 原始本能
effective measure 有效措施
without measure 过分
austerity measures 紧缩措施
for good measure 作为额外增添;另外 technical measure 技术措施
made to measure 定做的(衣服、鞋子等)
measure up 合格;符合标准
management measure 管理措施;管理办法
full measure 通栏排
counter measure 对策;防范措施;反措施
short measure (售货)分量不够[参较 give short measure];分量短缺，分量不足; in the same measure 同样地，同一程度地
safety measure 安全措施
security measure 安全措施
precautionary measure 预防措施;安全措施
protective measure 保护措施
administrative measure 行政措施，行政手段 2023年3月23日
The Hedgehog’s Dilemma
The Hedgehog’s Dilemma
刺猬 进退两难，困境
2023年3月23日
The Hedgehog’s Dilemma
I have strong co-dependent tendencies. I feel stability when I depend on someone, but my resentment builds up.
2023年3月23日
The Hedgehog’s Dilemma
The contradictory state of longing for intimacy but also wanting to keep others at arm’s length is called the hedgehog’s dilemma
亲密;偷情 2023年3月23日
The Hedgehog’s Dilemma
When I get out of the relationship I feel free, but anxiety and emptiness soon follow. In every relationship I’ve had, I cling to my partner but also treat them harshly
resentment气愤
1.情感依恋依附
2.粘住
3.抓紧，抱紧
ˈcling to sth | ˌcling ˈon to sth
to be unwilling to get rid of sth, or stop doing sth 不願放棄;堅持
◆ Throughout the trial she had clung to the belief that he was innocent. 在整個審判中，她都堅信他是清白的。 ◆ He had one last hope to cling on to. 他還抱着最後的一線希望。
◆ She managed to cling on to life for another couple of years. 她頑強地又活了幾年。 2023年3月23日
The Hedgehog’s Dilemma
It’s part and parcel of how I’ve lived my life so far. The important question is not whether this is the right or wrong way to live, but whether it’s healthy for me to live like this. I know the answer, but it’s so hard to act on it. I’m needlessly harsh towards myself, so I need comforting, someone who is on my side.
包裹
我对自己不必要地苛刻，所以我需要安慰，一个站在我这边的人。
2023年3月23日
2 Am I a Pathological Liar?
Am I a Pathological Liar?
The pathological liar, or ” pseudologue” , is not a con artist, in the sense that, whatever the consequences of his lies may be, his intent is not malice.
病态的说谎者，或 “幻想性谎语癖患者”，不是一个骗子，因为无论他的谎言会产生什么后果，他的意图都不是恶意的。 黑钱胜地.ozark
2023年3月23日
2 Am I a Pathological Liar?
immersing
沉浸 2023年3月23日
2 Am I a Pathological Liar? empathic
adj. 移情作用的;神入的 2023年3月26日
2 Am I a Pathological Liar?
swore
发誓 2023年3月26日
2 Am I a Pathological Liar?
Me: Do you think I’ll ever be able to lower my idealised standards? Psychiatrist: If you grow enough self-esteem. When that happens, you may find you’re no longer interested in aspiring to perfection or chasing some ideal. Me: Will I ever grow enough self-esteem? Psychiatrist: Probably.
2023年3月26日
2 Am I a Pathological Liar?
craven
怯懦的人;懦夫 2023年3月26日
2 Am I a Pathological Liar?
if their ventrolateral preoptic nucleus didn’t happen to be the first part of their brains to get drunk and make them fall asleep, they
too would say ridiculous things
所有摘录来自
Sehee，Baek. “I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki.” Bloomsbury Publishing, 2022-06-22T17:00:00+00:00. Apple Books. 此材料受版权保护。
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I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki
Baek Sehee

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